I painted a picture full of poetry
In hopes that you would notice the cracks
Showed you a clearer me
In hopes that you would mirror me back
In hopes that I could travel a road full of prose
And take that shit as far as it goes
That I could feel the hand of time give me a pat on the back
That I could mean everything I often say in my raps
But see, love is sort of different in the way that it hurts
But I would push through all the pain to show the weight of your worth
They say that the heart is all that sets us apart
But the fear you hold within is what determines the start
I will never ever end it all you claim that you want
And in the end you found you really never playing your part
It was love at least that’s what I figured it was
But it does, some shit you’d never think that it does
Like make you rip and tell her every single part of yourself
And show you things you probably never even thought of yourself
You made me hate like, every single part of myself
That was ugly or unwanted or just really unattractive, baby
You were my whole earth, I was barely on your axis.
Maybe if I was a different person, you would be affected, maybe..
I just felt me break inside of myself
And there’s really not a place on earth to hide from myself
It’s hard to find the truth when you barely be lying to yourself
And have a face full of pride that’s not inside of yourself
So I vow to never let my love outside of myself
It’s just a message in the bottle and that bottle’s myself
And somehow I still follow things I wish I could say
Like even when I love God’s never with us or away
Now I find myself alone because the bottom of my soul
Is just a whole bunch of nonsense a whole bunch of conscious
A whole bunch of old shit a whole bunch of problems
A whole bunch of substance a hole full of drama
And when every single hole that’s been punctured
The bottom of my soul becomes a whole fucking dumpster
For the time I made mistakes and wasting away
I knew things was just a failed attempt to take your place
And I know this is just a way of letting you go
But I be lying on this beat if I ain’t letting you know
You probably never know how it fucking feels when I cry
But here’s to every fucking tear in the shield of my eye
Hurt to see behind the smoke once it clears in subside
And every feeling that’s inside becomes a feeling you hide
Becomes a part of your past becomes a feeling denied
Becomes a strenght that it’s fail becomes a tear that you cry
Becomes a part of your soul becomes the heart of yourself
That you never once touched by any fucking one else
But I’m really just at war with myself
And this is just a fucking place in which I’m pouring myself
So I can’t seem ‘em coming down my eyes
But you also can’t feel the way I drown inside
Can’t see the massive amount the weight I hold
The type of shame I know the type of pain I hold
Keep it all inside this very picture frame I wrote
And love was just a missile…
And it kinda launched at a part of me particularly unprepared, unarmed, and unready.
And I’d fallen as it hit me..
I never wanted to be a part of something I had no knowledge of..
But you feel and you grow
And you hurt so you know..
Where to go…
I can’t feel em, I can’t see em..
I let em go.
I let em go.