I started on a journey about a year ago to a little town called
Morrow in the State of Ohio.
I've never been much of a traveler, and I really didn't know
that Morrow was the hardest place I'd ever try to go.
So I went down to the station for my ticket and applied for tips
regarding Morrow not expecting to beguiled.
Said I, "My friend, I'd like to go to Morrow and return no
later than tomorrow for I haven't time to burn."
Said he to me, "Now let me see if I have heard you right.
You'd like to go to Morrow and return tomorrow night.
You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back today for the
train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way.
If you had gone to Morrow yesterday now don't you see, you could
have gone to Morrow and returned today at three
For the train today to Morrow, if the schedule is right, today
it goes to Morrow and returns tomorrow night."
Said I, "My friend, it seems to me you're talking through
your hat. There is a town named Morrow on the line now tell me
"There is," said he, "but take me a quiet little
tip. To go from here to Morrow is a fourteen hour trip.
The train today to Morrow leaves today at eight thirty-five. At
half-past ten to Morrow is the time it should arrive.
So if from here to Morrow is a fourteen hour jump, can you go
today to Morrow and get back today, you chump?"
Said I, "I'd like to go to Morrow so can I go today and get
to Morrow by tonight if there is no delay?"
"Well, well," said he to me, "and I've got no
more to say. Can't get anywhere tomorrow and get back again
Said I, "I guess you know it all but kindly let me say, how
can I get to Morrow if I leave this town today?"
Said he, "You cannot go to Morrow any more today 'cause the
train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way."
I was so disappointed. I was mad enough to swear. The train had
gone to Morrow and had left me standing there.
That man was right in telling me that I was a-howling jay. I
could not go to Morrow so I guess in town I'll stay.